it is challenging to be loved conditionally (especially with certain conditions)
I would love to be loved fully, for all my parts, even if those parts weren’t always very pretty.
I am figuring out how to set boundaries…
I’m figuring out what boundaries I need to set.
I did not see the place where I am today from way back in 2008, 2009, 2010…
or I would not have moved forward the way I did.
in this moment, I want to simply go away…
to leave and go to a room, a cabin, a place…
by myself, where only nature and my own thoughts can hear me and speak to me.
at this point I’m not sure that I trust anyone.
except for mostly myself (LOL, that’s funny)
this back looking, this pain focus that I’m doing…
I’m not sure it serves any good purpose for me.
Perhaps I can just stop.
hmmm…
perhaps.
and yet here I am thinking of “this situation”
and spinning around in nothing circles.